


The Monster In Me

by CrimsonLoveSong



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Accident, Happy Ending, M/M, PTSD, both alive, mafia, melloxmatt - Freeform, tw: post traumatic stress disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:51:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1330876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonLoveSong/pseuds/CrimsonLoveSong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh god…oh god…MATT!" he dropped to his knees, looking over the damaged body. "No…no Matt no…" he ran a hand through his hair. Matt was still alive, but wouldn't be for long unless he got help and fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Monster In Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!   
> I know that there aren't as many people in the Death Note fandom anymore, but personally I love the series and I especially love the dysfunction that can entail with Matt and Mello
> 
> this one is actually an oldie from my Fanfiction.net account, but I thought I'd move it here.   
> as always, feedback would be VERY much appreciated
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Language, Violence, and a possible trigger warning for mentions of PTSD

The Monster in Me: ONESHOT

A Mello x Matt fan fiction

A gentle breeze rolled through the open windows of the messy little apartment, a slight smile crept across Mello’s lips as he took another bite of his chocolate bar. Solitude, one of the things he loved most, time all to himself to be alone with his thoughts. Something of the sort was much overdue, what with being a mob boss and all of the Kira madness going on. It was nice to have some time just to unwind and think. He was feeling so at ease that even though it was mid-afternoon and he hadn’t had the urge to drink at all yet.   
No arguing, no irritating sounds of gunshots or 8-bit theme songs, and none of that horrible noise Matt considered music known as ‘dubstep’. Mello had always thought that dubstep sounded more like a fork in a garbage disposal in sync with a baseline and a malfunctioning blender. There was no doubt he loved his red-headed companion, but, like in any relationship, partnership, friendship or anything, there were times when Matt got under his skin. 

Especially as of late; for some reason, ever since the explosion at the hideout, it seemed that being around Matt was unbearable. The snarky remarks that Mello didn’t particularly care for, but could tolerate nevertheless, sent him over the edge. He’d even get angry when Matt so much as drummed his fingers on the table or smoked in the house. At one point he’d even considered leaving him, but quickly reconsidered. What had gotten into him lately? Mello had always had an extremely short fuse, but even he could see it was getting to the point where it was absolutely ridiculous.

Speak of the devil, he heard the sound of boots clunking down the hall, followed by the jiggling of the doorknob, Matt sauntered into the cluttered living room, tossing a carton of cigarettes and a bag full of chocolate carelessly onto the coffee table. 

“Matt.” Mello called said, not turning around. There was no response. “Are you deaf?! I’m talking to you!” and in a flash, there went his temper again…

“I think I know what’s wrong…” Matt said quietly. 

“What the hell are you talking abo—.” 

“With you, Mels... and with us.” He continued quietly, almost reluctantly. “Ever since the explosion, you’ve been different. You've more distant, more demanding, you’ve been dressing sloppier…you’ve become even more temperamental…which, I didn’t think was possible but it seems you’ve managed to find a way.”

“You take that back!” Mello lunged at Matt, grabbing him by the faux fur collar of his vest. The redhead managed to squirm from his grasp by slipping out of his fluffy garment as he stumbled back, strategically placing himself behind the coffee table, leaving a distance between himself and the blonde to protect him from any sort of punches that the older boy might have had in store for him.

“Mello, you’re showing a lot of signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.” He said, Matt might not have been the keenest of students at Wammy's, but he always was interested by psychology. 

“So you think I’m crazy? Is that what it is? I’m crazy just because you’re a fucking ass?!” Mello accused. Matt held up his gloved hands. 

“You aren't crazy. But you have a problem, I really thing you need some help Mels.”

“There is nothing wrong with me!” the blonde screamed, his entire body shaking with rage. 

“Mihael…please.” The younger man pleaded, going as far as to take off his goggles, revealing the sincerity in his emerald eyes. They sparkled with worry over his lover. He hoped that the gesture, combined with the use of Mello's real name, would make him realize how serious he was, he’d never show his vulnerability to anyone else, he could only pray that Mello had not been blinded by his rage. 

Those prayers however, were not answered. Instead, he stood speechless, staring down the barrel of his lover’s gun. “Take it back!” Mello demanded. “Take it back you son of a bitch!” 

The gamer cautiously raised his hands and let out a shaky breath. “C’mon Mels, let’s not do anything hasty.” He tried to coax. Before he could say another word, four deafening shots rang out. The red cleared from Mello’s eyes just in time for him to see Matt collapse to the ground, blood already beginning to pour from his chest and seep into the dirty beige carpeting.

“Oh god…oh god…MATT!” he dropped to his knees, looking over the damaged body. “No…no Matt no…” he ran a hand through his hair. Matt was still alive, but wouldn’t be for long unless he got help and fast. “Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!” There wasn’t a moment to waste. 

“Mello…” Matt said, his voice strained through the pain. 

“Shh, shhh. Don’t talk…I-I’m gonna get you some help…where are your car keys?” Mello replied, Matt shifted and grunted in pain, his hand fished around in his pocket before shakily holding up the keys to his 1970 Camaro SS**. He didn’t waste any time bothering with seeing it Matt could walk, in one swift movement he hoisted the redhead into his arms, carrying him bridal-style out to Matt’s car. 

Mello paid no mind to speed limits or stop signs as he sped through the streets of Los Angeles until he reached the outskirts of town. The car screeched to a halt in front of what appeared to be an empty office building. “Hang in there Matty…” he said shakily, checking for a pulse, breathing a heavy sigh of relief when he found it, however faint it was, he had some time. He his lover inside. “Where’s Brady? He owes me a favor.” He demanded. Brady was a former doctor, his license was revoked after he was busted for embezzling a large sum of money from the hospital as well as a few sex scandals with nurses. Most of his clients now-a-days had mob affiliation. He had people steal drugs for him in exchange for lower rates and favors as well as his promise of patient confidentiality; The two young men in the foyer gestured toward an office in the back, and before they could open their mouths, Mello kicked the door in.

“It’s time to pay up.” He demanded, setting Matt down on the table. The man known as Brady looked up at him.

“These wounds are extensive…one favor does not equal this.” He said. “Especially not when I’ve already agreed to get my friend to fix your face.” 

“Then forget the plastic surgery! Forget the price! I’ll pay whatever you want. I’ve got the money…just…please.” Mello felt the tears that he’d been fighting so hard to hold back finally spill over, and he allowed them to fall freely down his cheeks. 

“Very well.” Brady said, immediately hooking the unconscious gamer up to several machines. “You may want to lea-.”

“No. I’m staying. I’ll help however I can.” Mello insisted, his hand gripping Matt’s tightly as Brady went to work on his damaged body. The pulse rate on the monitor was slowing.

“Matt…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…please…I-I’ll get help for my issues! I-I promise…Just don’t leave me Matty…I can’t live without you.” He pleaded, stroking the worn leather of Matt’s gloves. The months he’d spent without Matt when he had first left Wammy’s was probably the worst time in his life. He had been absolutely miserable without his only friend, it lead him to start drinking. He’d considered it a gift from god that day the redhead showed up on his doorstep, explaining how he’d left Wammy’s to find and assist him in any way he could. That was his Matt. Selfless Matt, who always thought of Mello first. Who was only trying to get him to agree to get help because he was concerned. Whom he shot for trying to help him.

“God, WHY?!” his mind screamed. “How could you do this to him? Why did you let him fall for a monster like me? I don’t deserve him. He was only trying to help…and now look what I’ve done.” 

The minutes ticked by, each one feeling like an hour. “There we are, he should be fine, I'm used to cases like these with our profession," Brady chuckled, trying to break some of the tension in the air "Here are the painkillers he’ll need to be on for a week or so, we’ll discuss how much extra money you owe me later.”

“Thank you.” Mello said breathlessly.

Matt slept soundly the whole way home, as well as for the rest of the day. When he finally woke, he was all alone. He glanced around the bedroom. “M-mello?” he called, painfully pulling himself to a seated position, biting his lip as a failed attempt to hold back a groan as he got to his feet. 

“No, Matty , don’t.” Mello rushed in the room, easing him back into the bed, stripping down before crawling in bed as well. “Brady said to keep you—,”

“Brady? How…h-ow did you afford his rates?" Matt may not have know the extent of the underground crime that Mello did, but he sure as hell knew the rates that rat-bastard charged, especially since he was the one Matt had brought Mello to after the explosion, and nearly paid through the teeth until Brady had found out half of his staff had tangled with Rod before, and thus weren't exactly on the best terms with the young former right-hand of the crime lord. 

“I called in the favor he owed me, plus the other one…” Mello said simply. “I can pay the rest easy.”

“But…the other favor…wasn’t…wasn’t he gonna get someone to fix your face?” 

“Matty, I’d rather be disfigured than lose you. Now I can look like the monster I really am.” Mello stroked his hair. Sure, his face had bothered him ever since he'd taken the bandages off, but after what he did to his best friend-- no, the man he loved, he thought the face fit the being that had to wear it. 

“You’re not a monster…” Matt scooted closer to him, resting his head on Mello’s shoulder. 

“Not a monster? Look what I did to you…you mean more than the world to me, and I nearly killed you. I don’t deserve you Mail, but I’m damn well gonna make up for this, I promise. Almost losing you made me realize how much I need you. I love you Matt, and I’m gonna fix this…fix us. I’m gonna get help, so I never hurt you like this again.” 

“Mello…” Matt tried to cut in.

“No Matt, you were right, I need help…something’s wrong with me…I have all this rage…and I don’t know why. I don’t want to hurt you Matt…”

“Mello.” 

“I love you.” 

“Mello…shut the hell up and kiss me already.” Matt smirked, his lover happily complied, pressing his lips tenderly to the younger boy’s in a gentle kiss. “I love you too Mels.”


End file.
